I put the money where my mouth is.

If you know me, you already know I speak my mind. And now, I’ve put the money where my mouth is.

Literally. Ahhhhhhh, see it?

Actually, what you would see are two transparent devices, with metal hinges and wires in and around them. They’re orthoses for treating temporomandibular disorder (often known as TMJ disorder or TMD). I even got a couple of nifty adjustment tools for them. Pretty rad, huh? Too bad this awesome new grill doesn’t come attached to a new Audi. Sigh.

It’s been over twenty years of chronic headaches, neck and shoulder pains, facial pains and ear aches. The amount of money spent on pain relievers, digestive aids, silly dental work, odd-shaped pillows and massages aside, I wonder how many hours of life I’ve wasted on oping with the pain and not being able to enjoy life. But better late than never, right? My treatment plan began on April 30 with an implant. The orthotic devices were fitted on May 6, and I’ve been wearing them at least 22 hours a day. Along with TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) sessions, the facial and ear pains have already decreased noticeably. I have no illusion though. It’s going to take a while to fix two decades of damage, and I’ll need to get pretty creative with my menu besides smoothies. But look at the bright side: great weight loss strategy! It’s okay if you make fun of the way I talk now. When this is all done, look for a skinnier me, sporting a killer smile, driving by in my sweet old SUV. Rawr.

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