Not that I’m super old, but my priorities have shifted significantly over the last 2-3 years as I further cement my place in the “middle age” category. (You’re welcome, U.S. Census.) Having experienced losses and challenges definitely nudged the process along, although I wish it didn’t always take so much sadness and regret to remind us to re-examine our own lives. My family and I have made some important changes in the past few months, in how we live, work, learn and play. As we make these transitions and I gather my thoughts, I’ll share some of them in the next few posts.
School != Learning
The education system in which I grew up was similar to force-feeding geese for fatter livers and better foie gras (mmm, liver). I did my best to think and do for myself outside the proverbial box, although doing so was often seen as acts of rebellion, which culminated in my departure from the boarding school and Taiwan. I won’t bore you with details, but my memories of those years and some residual effects played a large part in my decision to finally take Ty out of the traditional classroom. Honestly, I wish I had done it sooner, but better during the 11th grade than never. Sending him to what amounts to a daycare for 8 hours a day was not only ineffective, it was also causing stress in our family because he was “rebelling” like I did all those years ago. Said daycare simply did not have the bandwidth to truly help students develop into lifelong learners, and it’s really not the fault of any one school. Now Ty attends high school classes online, at his own pace, which usually means flipping through the required reading and assignments swiftly (he still needs to meet graduation requirements), and spending the majority of his time on the subject matters that interest him. No more “Mr. so-and-so said this” during our convo at the end of the school day. Instead, he shares from whatever he discovered, made or read that day, and we often have energetic discussions or debates that encourage all of us to think and find out more.
To be clear, I have not and am not advocating for homeschooling here. I’ve always had full-time employment outside the home and would never compare myself to those courageous parents who have made the decision to educate their children at home. That is a huge commitment. I have chosen what I believe to be a good combination of structured virtual classroom setting led by qualified instructors, scheduling flexibility, and a much better curriculum with diverse offerings (through K12). Honestly, I lost many nights of sleep before finally pulling the trigger. No matter how much research I did, part of me feared that I was about to ruin my kid’s life, but in the end, something had to change. We agreed to give this new learning arrangement a one-semester trial. Unless he somehow fails to meet his academic accountabilities, I don’t foresee us going back to the old way.
I can appreciate the need to standardize our children’s education, and I believe every child needs to be exposed to a well-rounded curriculum before they learn to choose for themselves. However, performance aside, the public education process has (d)evolved into something that, for the most part, effectively robs children and parents the joy and responsibility of teaching and learning. There’s much more I have to say on the topic of education and learning (and they are different), but it’s time to go watch a demo of Ty’s latest game programming projects.
Photo from Bill Ward’s Brickpile.
(If you know me or follow me on 
Will it all become one big sharing party?
This afternoon, I read a piece in the New York Times about the Tateuchi Center, a new performance space opening in 2014 in Bellevue, Washington. This hall plans to allow the use of smart phones during performances, and is even adding an antenna to make sure patrons have a strong enough cellular signal to post and tweet as they please. The assumption is that the additional sharing of live performances via social networks will attract a younger and larger crowd, and it seems logical enough. Given my line of work (social media marketing), part of me looks forward to the adoption and all the fun to be had with this brave new concert etiquette in 2014. However, a bigger part of me worries and feels a bit sad: no place is sacred anymore.
Now would be a good time to share with you some thoughts on my mind about “sharing.”
Sharing at events – For the past couple of years, I’ve attended many social media, technology, marketing and networking events and conferences. For some of them, I’m responsible for live tweeting/sharing sound bytes and snapshots, and responding to comments and questions in the back channel. At the majority of them, it’s “customary” (or expected) that I’d check in on three or four location based apps upon arrival at the venue, tag a bunch of friends or associates, and then proceed to take pictures (or have them taken) and share them on more social networking sites. Early on along this process, I would obtain the official event hashtag so that my event related tweets are properly tagged, and so I can use it when following up with fellow attendees afterward. Here’s the secret. Of all the events I attended over the past three years or so, at least eighty percent of talks or presentations didn’t really register with me. Sitting among the audience, and often closer to the front, I look very focused, furiously taking notes. The truth is, I’m so busy listening for the next tweetable and retweetable sound bytes from the presenters that I don’t actually hear anything. I’m too busy sharing.
Sharing while reading – At night, I pick up my Kindle for some bedtime reading, and marvel at the possibility (and now a reality) of communicating with authors and fellow readers electronically. Instead of discovering others’ notes in used book stores, I can now find them online. Instead of penning letters to authors or seeing them at library events, I can now send them questions or feedback while I’m in the middle of the digital book. Is this cool? Sure. Do I want to participate? I don’t know. I grew up knowing reading as an essential part of my solitude. Sharing is great for book club discussions. Social interactions while reading, I feel, would take away from my own process and appreciation of the work, and I have to wonder if writers really want that for readers or for themselves.
Sharing in everyday life – Two weeks ago, as I was pulling out of our driveway and heading to the office, a deer emerged from the woods and strolled onto our front lawn. I stopped, turned off the engine and rolled down the window. He stood by our young maple tree and looked right at me. Like reflex, I reached for my phone to take pictures for Instagram, and text TJ and Ty about it, but before I even finished entering my phone passcode, the deer walked around my car, and began trotting up and down our quiet street. I decided to put my phone down and just enjoy the encounter. It was mine to savor. I didn’t need to tell the world about it right then. Sharing the event digitally, instead of focusing on the joy of those moments, would have been a shame. Interrupting that time and experience would be disrespecting myself.
By now, you’re wondering: “Wait, doesn’t every social media marketer love to share everything and want everyone to do the same?” It seems that way, doesn’t it?
The answer is: yes and no, and I can only speak for me. Thing 1: I’m human. I’m a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. My sharing activities have to take my loved ones’ lives, feelings and privacy into consideration. Thing 2: I do work in social media and I’m a fan of word-of-mouth marketing. Not every sales and marketing message can or should to made “social” or “sharable.” It has to be relevant first. I’m pretty stubborn about this and will discuss this in another post later.
How much and how often do you share? Where do you draw the line? Is that line moving or blurring in your world?